Asking For Help Is A Prayer

By Brigitte Shipman | Dec 18, 2020. | Autism Moms, Asking for Help, Life Lessons

I have always been a person who likes to figure things out on my own. I would rather help others than ask others for help. I am not sure where I picked up the belief that asking for help shows weakness rather than strength, but this is what I believed well into my adult life. I felt that asking someone for help meant that I was doing something wrong. I must be not working hard enough or I was missing something.

Life takes us on journeys to learn, much like a field trip when we were going to school. Field trips are opportunities to learn through experience. Our life field trip can repeat some trips over and over again. If we do not learn it the first time then we are guaranteed opportunities to learn the same lessons over and over again.

I personally believe that is our purpose as a human being to grow and to learn. This is much harder than it sounds. I believe that most of us can attest to repeating some life lessons. It has taken me several rounds of certain life lessons before I finally have my moment of clarity. Once I have awareness then I can slowly begin to apply it, to make the change, to finally learn and grow. 

My personal growth comes in waves and I really don’t know when I am going to fully grasp the lesson at hand, but I do know that eventually I will get it and if I don’t, then I know I will have the opportunity to repeat it until I do. One of these life lessons that has been offered throughout my life has been that asking for help is not weak; it is in fact a prayer.

Michael Beckwith is a spiritual leader that I have followed over the years. I heard him say in one of his interviews on Oprah’s show Super Soul Sunday that asking for help is a prayer. Hello Eternal Loving Presence. When we ask for help we offer our hearts the bigger picture in life. We all need help. I believe this to be true for every single person.

I have noticed throughout my life as a teacher and life coach that most moms struggle with asking for help. We multitask beyond exhaustion. This is very easy to do when you are a mom. It is even easier to do when you are an autism mom. We are in fight or flight most of our days. 

Then when you add relationships, managing your household, your child's education, researching the latest therapies, what’s for dinner, your career, you end up not living a balanced life. When we have gone way beyond our limit, we live from our lowest version of our self, rather than our highest self. You need help. We all need help.

If you are still not convinced then find a quiet place and reflect on the last time you did something just for you. Now add, doing something for yourself guilt free. If you have many examples to list then you can pat yourself on the back and notice that you are managing and more than likely living a balanced life. So, congratulations and please go do something kind for yourself and celebrate. For the rest of us let’s come up with some simple ways that we can begin asking for help and slowly begin moving towards living through balance and joy.

I understand first hand how difficult it is to create intentional time just for yourself without feeling guilty. Let’s begin with our prayer: Hello Eternal Loving Presence. 

How to ask for the help you need:

  • Now ask for help like this, “I need help with…” Now list what you need help with today. Write it all down. Do not leave anything off of your list. My hunch is that you will be impressed with all that you are managing on a regular day. 
  • Once you have created your list of what you need help with, then circle your top 5. Pick one of the top 5 and make this your first request from your ask for help prayer list. Your next step will be how to get the help you are praying for to feel lighter. 
  • List people in your life that might be able to help you. This is going to be your ‘Who Ask List.’ Don’t think about whether they’re willing to help or if you feel comfortable asking them. Just write them down. 
  • Now ask yourself who in your life can help you feel lighter with the help request from step two. Look at your ‘Who Ask List’ and swallow your ‘I can do it all pride,’ and reach out to this person. Ask them from a place of prayer and now give yourself permission to let go of it. They will say “yes” or they will say “no,” but that really doesn't matter. What matters is that you have begun to lean into your own life lesson of asking for help.

Once you begin to live in this loving space you will begin to transform your life. Being vulnerable enough to ask for help is a huge leap towards your personal growth. I know because it was a very tough lesson for me to learn. I still struggle with asking for help, but I can adjust my thinking and belief to a simple prayer and then I ask with love and no expectation in their response. 

What this has offered me is living through receiving as well as giving. Allowing someone the opportunity to help me is also offering them a gift. I know how great it feels to help someone else. So, why not give someone else the chance to feel great too.

I hope you begin to ask for help today. Begin your prayer and let go of the expectation and live lighter and happier.

Autism Guide Brigitte Shipman Coach

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